The Police Force at the End of the Universe
Just because the universe as we know it is coming to an end doesn't mean law and order no longer apply. The Police Force at the End of the Universe has the greatest policemen to ever walk a beat, stage a stake out or catch a perp. We will let no evil deed go unpunished, let no criminal walk free and make the end of a universe a safer place to be for all good law abiding citizens. Plus when the end finally comes who do you think will have all the beer and donuts...
The Police Force needs YOU! Yes, you! No, not you, the other one, the one in the sunglasses. The streets of Harriston Heights are ruled by gangs and violence and our few officers are ill equipped to deal with all the crime reports flooding in. Join now and help keep the streets safe from criminals!
How to Contact Us
You can either visit us on our forum - www.policeforce.proboards.com
Or via our IRC channel #cops on irc network irc.nexuswar.com
Failing that just yell at any random officer you find in the street, preferably whilst windmilling your arms in the internation sign of distress.
Papa Zeke's FAQ
If you have come here seeking assistance from boys in blue/psychedelic plate mail, here is a list of frequently asked questions that might help you and save some time:
* Q: Help! I've just witnessed an officer of your group assaulting a member of the community!
* A: No you didn't. A trained observer would note that window/staircase/telegraph pole will have been in direct violation of numerous health and safety protocols. Therefore the Police Force at the End of the Universe cannot be held liable for any civilian injured when falling from/down/into the aforementioned window/staircase/telegraph pole.
* Q: An officer just took a bribe from a shifty-looking guy with red skin and glowing eyes. Whose side are you on?
* A: Departmental policy forbids our officers from accepting bribes. You observed an undercover operation in progress. The officer in question is likely to have killed said shifty guy when things went sour and the perpetrator became violent.
* Q: I just witnessed a member of your group butchering half-a-dozen people, which is fine, but I was disturbed to note he then started mutilating their corpses and putting their severed heads in a bag. Is this normal behavior?
* A: That's probably Skull Face. Originally from the Caribbean, he is an expert in 'traditional' forensic anthropology.
* Q: Your uniforms are so sexy. Can I book you in to come do a sexy policeman/woman striptease at my hen/bachelor party?
* A: Officers of the Police Force at the End of the Universe may strip naked and dance at their own discretion, and will sometimes do so even if you didn't ask.
* Q: Will you assist me in a raid against the dark forces of evil encroaching on our fair land?
* A: Did you bake enough doughnuts for everyone? Have you considered a charitable donation to the Widows And Orphans Fund?
* Q: Wait, don't you mean 'donut'?
* A: No, you damn hippy. Learn to spell properly.
* Q: One of your officers just burst into my stronghold and unloaded a sub-machine gun into me. Can I seek compensation?
* A: Actually, if said bullets are still in your body you may be in violation of code 27 sec 3/A - Theft of Police Munitions. You will need to fill out requisition form 16/Q, noting the exact number of bullets and their locations.
* Q: Why did one of your guys just throw a kitten at my face?
* A: It happens. Don't read too much into it.
* Q: Can I join your faction?
* A: The Police Force at the End of the Universe requires all recruits to undergo rigourous physical and mental training prior to gaining the coveted Silver Shield. If you think you have what it takes apply in writing on form FO-DD3/r (in triplicate) at your local precinct house.
Officers, please familiarize yourselves with the patrol routes listed here.